A Little Blogerella: School Year's End

So here we are. At the end of the only full school year I will be in attendance for at this school (or in this country). The way our yearly JET contract works is we are dropped in at the 1/3 mark of a school year, during the summer holiday break.

To watch these kids, all grades, from the beginning to the end of this year.....was nice. No great revelations were made on my part. Nothing really seemed special about watching the school year pass by. School is school. All the same, I'm glad I stayed a second year.

My job is an interesting one. I'm not a teacher, only a teaching assistant. I'm closer to the age of these kids than I am to most of the teachers who work here. I also like more of the kids than I do the teachers. Because I'm not grading or reprimanding them, I have a far different relationship with the kids than any of the other staff or faculty. Our relationship is much more relaxed and friendly than those I observe with the regular teachers.

That being said, there's so much that I can't communicate and/or understand with these kids...there will always be that vague barrier between their lives and mine. Any serious problems, most questions or concerns they would have about anything....I just can't help. So, it makes me the happy funtime guy in class. A guy the kids high-five or chit chat with in the hallways. The guy who might make classtime a degree or two more interesting (maybe) but thats about where my connection with a majority of these kids end.

At a graduation enkai (teacher dinner and drink-a-thon) last thursday the homeroom teachers of the graduating third graders were honored. During the beginning of this enkai, before everyone became to drunk to listen, there was a sort of entertainment. For each of the 6 teachers, 2 or 3 students wrote letters thanking them for...well, everything really. Those letters were read aloud and the teacher would then have to guess what student it was who wrote it. After several guesses, and standing on a slightly elevated stage, the teacher would then launch into a short schpeel. I understood only a little of what was said. I imagine they repeated how good the students were. Told small anecdotes or funny stories. Reminisced......of course there were tears involved.

Sitting and listening while each of the teachers received praise from the same kids I came to enjoy so much...I became extremely jealous. I wanted those fond memories regurgitated upon myself to make me feel special. I wanted to stand in front of my "peers" and have them see the impact I had on the kids (vice-versa?) and how well we related to each other. The only thing that distracted me from these ridiculous feelings was a small steak served with a small potato and tomato slice. (I've never seen a proper steak at any of these teacher parties and was just tickled) Jealousy is obviously a silly thing. Who knows where it comes from, but when it rears it's ugly head....rarely do good things come as a result.

As I sat there in my inebriated, carnivorous state it dawned on me that I couldn't have those things I wanted because really they didn't/don't exist in my life here with what I'm doing now. Of the 80 some-odd students I saw graduate that day, I would dare say few will remember my name even 5 years from now. Understandably so. I saw them maybe once a week. Most I only communicated with in class. I didn't assist them in any of their sports clubs. I didn't/couldn't help them in any of their other classes. And to be honest, there are few whose names I remember 5 years down the line.

The teachers being celebrated dealt with these kids problems, sicknesses and troubles. They saw them everyday and most of the time on weekends. They were not only homeroom teachers but subject teachers as well. They guided these kids in their decision on what thigh-school to apply and go to (A process on par with choosing a university in the states) They scolded and applauded these kids throughout the year.

I gave them high-fives.

To obtain what these teachers were celebrating I'd need to do one of two things. 1) Stay in this country, learn ALOT more Japanese, get my teaching license, and put years more into the system. or 2) Go back to America and begin the same journey there only with a leg up in the "I already know the language" aspect of it. (Even if I liked Japan enough to stay and become a teacher here....I don't believe I'd ever really be able to relate to these kids just because of the culture....but thats another blog altogether)

This past tuesday some of the kids came back to see what the final results were on the last high-school entrance exam were. It was a big test for the big academic highschool in Matsue. (a 25 minute train ride and 30 minute bike ride twice-a-day if they get accepted) As they were coming in and out of the school to learn their scores a couple would stop by my desk in the teacher's office to say hi or shake my hand. Saki, last years brass band club leader, clarinet player and a girl with a really good smile, came by. She looked sad and she handed me a small bag. She said thank you in japanese, kinda smiled and then left after I responded. Back in the fall I made Saki a burnt CD of BigBand Orchestras that were led by clarinet players Benny Goodman and Artie Shaw. She had told me in a previous class activity the she liked Jazz music. I asked her if she knew of guys playing Jazz Clarinet. She never mentioned the CD to me again.

In the bag she gave me was a small box that had a really nice, small japanese tea mug in it. There was also a small note with a simple ありがと. I'm not implying the cup was because of the CD. That's my guess, but it could have been for any number of reasons...maybe. Regardless, it feels nice to be appreciated or even thought of.

I'm telling this entire story really for my own accord. I can't see it being interesting to too many other people. The reason I'm even writing it is because I want to remember years later that although I wanted and envied what others had....what I received unexpectedly and without fanfare was all the more rewarding.

I've been holding on to a quote recently that I really like and I believe it applies all the more in light of recent events.